Yes, it’s been WAY too long! I mean, so long that it seems a bit ridiculous that I would even sit down to write a post. However, some things just require a blog post!
God loves me and you! I mean, that is a simple statement, but here I am a stinking sinner, yet he loves me. He loved be so much, while I was still a sinner, that He sent His son to die on the cross for me. I don’t always grasp what that really means, and to be completely honest, I don’t think my little, simple brain can truly grasp the love of my Savior. All I know is that He loves me, died for me, and continually shows me that in ways that amaze me!
So, almost two years ago, we took a huge leap of faith and moved to California. I quit my job, began homeschooling our kiddos, and we moved. Financially, this freaked me out! I had prayed, for 9 years, that one day I would be able to stay home with our children, and for the first time, I was willing to truly put my faith in Christ and “go for it.” I have been continuously brought to my knees by God’s provision for us. We never go without a meal. I mean, honestly, I live at a camp where the chefs are amazing and feed our family most of the time! It’s ridiculous really! There is never a moment when I have to wonder how I will care for my family or meet their physical needs, because God always provides. He provides! Not always through money (though sometimes it is), but in so many different ways. A kind word, a call from a friend, a package from the grandparents, just so many ways! I’m so undeserving, and in awe that He loves me that much!
When we moved, I was also really worried that I was “messing up” my kids for LIFE!!!!!!! I wasn’t sure that I could actually homeschool them and not have them turn out as the “weird homeschool family!” Well, I’m still not sure that we aren’t becoming that weird homeschool family, but I do know that I’m not messing them up for LIFE! We had our annual IEP meeting (ARD for my Texas peeps), and I left feeling so encouraged. I’m the teacher. I mean, I get to say what he can and can’t do. I get to change up what isn’t working and add things in that he needs. Ultimately, I am responsible for his education and if something isn’t working out or needs to be changed, our family decides. (Disclaimer: I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the group of people who walked with us on our special education journey in Texas!!!!!! Ben was always taken care of, and we know that we had people that loved Ben just as much as we did and wanted only the best. It’s just that sometimes, the politics of public school and state requirements get in the way of being able to make the best decisions, even when we are all fighting for it!) Every single person in our meeting talked about Ben’s potential, his strengths, his sweet and loving personality, and what a joy he is. None of them know me or Micah, so they weren’t just trying to be nice to us. I’m just thankful! So very thankful!
And, as for Grace, she is really doing great too! She is becoming such a sweet, kind young lady. She works really hard in school, and has even mentioned that she enjoys homeschooling lately. I mean, this is really huge for my social butterfly! She loves her friends, and we are so thankful to have found a church home where she can meet others, feel comfortable, and grow in Christ.
I know this is long, and I have probably babbled and not made sense throughout. I am just in awe of God’s love! He shows himself through His beautiful creation, provision for our family, placing Christian friends in our lives that we can have coffee (or cake or both) with, he gives us family that loves us unconditionally no matter how far apart we are! How is it that we would ever doubt Him, not trust His plan for us, or even just disregard Him? How? (Well, I actually know the answer, but…)
I hope that you can hear my heart when I write. I never want anyone to read this as a judgement toward the decisions you make for your family. I just wanted to share how God continues to take and mold me. I want to always be wet clay. Thankful, grateful, humbled, in awe, amazed, and so much more! I just thought all of this required a blog post!