We shall now use handkerchiefs…because Kleenex are dangerous and banned from this Kingdom!

Once upon a time, there was a small boy around the age of 4, who stuck a piece of Kleenex up his nose.  This boy’s parents were unaware of his plight, until a few days later when they began to sniff an unusual and rather unpleasant odor.  His mom and dad could not figure out where this smell was coming from and the young boy was unable to tell them exactly what had happened.  (Or maybe he was just too smart to share that Kleenex was stuck up his nose.)  The days continued on, and the unpleasant odor became, shall we say…unbearable!  The boy’s parents and his teachers had no idea what was going on, so the mom decided she should call the doctor.  However, before the doctor could be called, the family stopped to enjoy some amazing BBQ for dinner.  While at the table eating, the young boy sneezed a very loud and hearty sneeze.  (Yes, here it comes, so stop reading if you have a weak stomach.)  Upon sneezing, something landed on the table!  It was a WAD of Kleenex!!!!!!  The boys parents gagged and cheered and cheered and gagged, for the unpleasant odor was gone and was to return no more…

Until many years later, when the young boy used Kleenex to help rid his nose of the incessant dripping from seasonal allergies.  He decided that rolling up Kleenex and stuffing it in his nose would stop the dripping and the constant need to wipe his nose.  This worked well, until a piece of Kleenex broke off.  It was at this point that the young lad had a decision to make…come tell his mom (who has been known to freak out in situations such as this) or try to remove the Kleenex himself.  He decided upon the latter, and the Kleenex became lodged in his upper nostril.  It was at this point, that his mom heard him blowing his nose repeatedly.  She “gently and kindly” asked what was wrong.  The young boy stated that he had Kleenex stuck up his nose, to which is mother replied, “You do not!  You would never do that again!”  And so, the days went on…until the boy continued to blow his nose repeatedly each day…AND…the unusual and rather unpleasant odor came back to visit.  It was upon her first notice of the odor that the mom IMMEDIATELY took the young boy to see the village doctor.   (otherwise known as Dr. Berger at Urgent Care)  The doctor entered the room and began trying all that he knew; syringe, long tweezers, long tubes connected to syringes, and even asked the boy’s mom to hold his other nostril while blowing as hard as she could into his mouth with the hope that the object would fly out.  (I do not make this stuff up, people!)  To the doctor’s dismay, nothing worked.  The young boy and his parents would need to now go to the village ENT!  (Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist)  Two days went by, in which the young boy’s discomfort became great.  The family traveled down the mountain to the village of Oceanside, where the ENT castle was.  (Okay, the doctor’s office is LITERALLY the “castle on the hill.”)  The beautiful and enchanted Dr. Lu, ENT, entered the room, took out her magical wand (long, long, suction tube and tweezers) and gently and gracefully pulled the BIGGEST WAD of KLEENEX from the boy’s nose!!!!!!!  He could instantly breathe better, felt better, and promised to NEVER EVER stick Kleenex up his nose again!!!!!  There was then a royal decree shared throughout the land:

EUGENE

 

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2 Comments

  1. Oh, my goodness!! You told this story so humorously and skillfully and I was laughing so hard, but at the same time cringing for you and your sweet boy. I am so glad that there was a happy ending!

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